Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i think i just lost a toe
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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