Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
