Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
