The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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