yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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