You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
