is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
