I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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