oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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