I feel like abortions should bother me more
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
