i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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