Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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