If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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