so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
