No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
