"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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