Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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