Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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