I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I love black thongs
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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