sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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