I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
