Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
