She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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