Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
