I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
