This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
