my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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