You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
