to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
