do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
dude. I can hear the air.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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