so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he puts the penis in happiness.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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