That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
