There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
