32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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