that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
