kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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