Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize