If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize