So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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