I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
