I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
