Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He kissed a someone with a penis
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
