i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
