You work out of a Hotel?
so that wasnt chicken after all
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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