I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
