Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
