so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
