she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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