So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize