my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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