i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
