Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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