I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize