i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
