I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
