Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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