Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
