I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
