she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish you could order shots online.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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