I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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