May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
