when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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