I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
