I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
