He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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