i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
