Pants 0. Shit 1.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
